Fertility for Millennials

Navigating the Fertility Journey in Late 30s to Early 40s: Challenges and Considerations for Millennial Women

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in societal norms surrounding family planning, particularly among millennials. With advancements in education, career opportunities, and evolving social dynamics, many women find themselves starting a family until later in life. This often comes with its own set of challenges and complexities, especially for those embarking on the fertility journey in their late 30s to early 40s. In this blog post, I’ll explore some of the prominent issues and obstacles faced by women I see in my fertility clinic, in this demographic as they navigate the path to parenthood, including aging, later parenthood, finding a loving partner, navigating fertility as a single mother or lesbian mother(s), financial concerns, and more.

Career and Motherhood is possible.

Women have many more opportunities for career and personal fulfilment than women did in previous generations and this has afforded women the ability to choose to start their family when they feel financially, emotionally, and mentally ready. For many women, this decision puts them on a different path from their grandmother’s generation who were often expected to marry young, start having babies soon after, and were sometimes tied financially to their husbands. Now, as women in this generation reach their late 30s, the challenge becomes understanding the biological reality that fertility is a finite window in a woman’s life and taking the necessary steps to make their dreams of motherhood come true.

I have noticed that some of my clients express anxiety that their choice to go after their career and personal dreams in their 20s and 30s will harm their chances of having children now that they have found partners or wish to have more children in cases of secondary infertility but the great news is that women in this age group have access to fertility treatments that never existed before, and that pregnancy in this age group is more likely than ever in history. I’m happy to report that most of my clients go on to have successful pregnancies and start the families of their dreams in their late thirties and early forties.

A Loving Partner 

Finding a loving and supportive partner to embark on the journey of parenthood can be another significant hurdle for women who are trying to date in the current landscape. With the rise in social media and growing isolation of humanity in general, we see an uptick in anxiety, depression, and loneliness as co-worker bonding is erased as people work from home on computers, people spend more and more time on their devices. Dating in the 2020s has become a rough landscape to navigate for everyone.

While of course many women have found loving relationships other women find themselves single or struggling to find a suitable partner. Dating has become harder because people are under the illusion of endless choice (created by dating apps), and thus have the tendency to cut off relationships and look for the next shiny thing rather than put in the effort that long term commitment requires. Even for lesbians dating is still a steep challenge as the path to motherhood involves a separate set of concerns such as sperm donation versus adoption, legal considerations, the high cost of in vitro and surrogacy, and societal attitudes towards same sex parent families.

Easing Financial Concerns for Housing, Childcare, and Fertility Treatments

With soaring housing prices and the rising cost of living, many millennials (men and women both) find themselves grappling with the decision to start a family while also ensuring financial security for themselves and their future children. After two recessions and a major housing crisis the prospect of homeownership and providing a stable environment for raising a family can be daunting, adding an extra layer of stress to an already complex situation. Add to that the higher-than-ever costs of day-care, nannies, groceries, school tuition, extracurriculars, and all the other expenses that come with raising children, and many millennial parents or would-be parents are understandably hesitant to take on the path of parenthood.

One approach when it comes to financial considerations is to inform women, especially those women where fertility prices can be quite high, that there are much more affordable options abroad in clinics that do amazing work, are easy to access and are set up to accommodate international women and couples seeking support. Another aspect of my work is to guide my clients through a fertility treatment schedule to ensure the highest pregnancy success odds while also keeping costs as low as possible.

Emotional considerations: partnership, single parenthood, and same-sex families.

Another key aspect of my fertility coaching is whether a woman is wishing to become a mother on her own, dating and looking for someone to share life and parenthood with, married, and so on. A significant part of my work in my fertility clinic London is offering emotional support and guidance for women because any conversation around fertility inevitably brings to the surface everything happening in their love life, family dynamics, and emotional world. Some women are happily partnered while others feel alone within their marriage and struggling to communicate with their partners as issues inevitably come to the surface. Others are done waiting for the right partner and have prioritized motherhood. I also see a lot of lesbians in my practice who have all the same relationship questions to navigate as well as a separate set of concerns like sperm donation versus adoption, anonymous versus known donors, legal considerations, the high cost of in vitro and surrogacy, and societal attitudes towards same sex parent family structures (some countries unfortunately still have limitations around what lesbian couples seeking fertility treatment can do). No matter what your situation, in my thirty plus years of practice I have seen it all and I am here to offer you my most compassionate support with a wide variety of techniques and counsel to help with the emotional aspect of fertility.

Aging and Fertility 

How does age effect my fertility is one of the most frequent questions I am asked. As women age, the quantity and quality of their eggs diminish, making it more difficult to conceive naturally. This decline in fertility can lead to longer conception times, an increased risk of miscarriage, and a higher likelihood of needing fertility assistance such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) or many of the other reproductive technologies available. This biological reality can evoke fears and anxieties for women in their late 30s to early 40s who are trying to conceive. The fear of infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy-related complications looms large, prompting many women to seek medical interventions.

Guidance and Support

Despite the challenges women in their late thirties to early forties may face on their fertility journey, there is hope and support available. Fertility clinics London and across the UK, provide comprehensive fertility assessments, personalized treatment plans, and emotional support to individuals and couples struggling with infertility. Secondary fertility treatments, which cater to those who are already parents but facing difficulties conceiving again, can offer a tailored approach.

Finding the right practitioner is a critical piece of this journey since there are so many factors to consider between treatments, clinics, countries, finances, emotional and psychological challenges, partnership, and more.

It may be that your partner has children from a previous relationship and this will affect your access to NHS treatment. Women in this situation often seek the support of fertility coaching from me as I can help them navigate this complicated world of clinics, testing, medications, process, and all the emotions and mental challenges that this journey will inevitably bring to the surface.


Trying to become a mother in one’s late 30s to early 40s poses a unique set of challenges and considerations for millennial women. From housing and financial concerns to partner dynamics, alternative paths to parenthood, and fears of infertility, pursuing this path requires resilience, support, and a willingness to confront the obstacles head-on. Despite the challenges, many women in this demographic are embracing the journey to parenthood with determination, courage, and an unwavering commitment to building a family. It is my passion to help people looking to become parents, no matter their age, finances, and circumstances, have the best chance at making this dream come true.

What Men and Women Should Eat To Improve Fertility

Improving your fertility can be fun and enjoyable!

Why not connect with your partner by doing some cooking together?

You could take a walk to a local farmers market, enjoying each other’s company while you plan a meal and then cook together in a relaxed way.

When it comes to nutrition and preparing to start a family, my two most important words are balance and moderation.

For both men and women, it’s important to be a healthy weight.

Not overweight, or obese, or underweight but to be in the middle of your healthy BMI number is what you should aim for.

Here are some tips on how men and women can eat in balance and with moderation to improve fertility.

What Men Should Eat

Minerals & Supplements

Foods such as pumpkin seeds, rye, oats and almonds are a good form of zinc, which is essential for healthy sperm, also oysters if you like them.

Selenium is present in whole grains, avocados, shellfish and sesame seeds.

Ginseng supplements improve the bloodflow to the penis and may improve sexual function for some people.

Avoid Alcohol & Fast Food

Alcohol should be abstained from completely as it reduces the ability of the gut to absorb nutrients. If drunk in excess, it can lead to reduced sperm quality, increased abnormal sperm and lower motility, lower sperm counts, lower testosterone, decreased libido and increased risk of erectile dysfunction.

Junk and fast food should be avoided as a diet high in saturated fats significantly reduces the sperm count and makes the sperm weaker and poor quality, fast foods not only carry health risks like cholesterol, obesity and heart disease but it is detrimental to sperm and the energy of the body is unhealthy.

Protein & Fresh Foods

A high protein diet can make the sperm more acidic, which is not desired, a healthy diet will help you absorb nutrients.

When you’re eating vibrant colourful fresh fruits, vegetables, grains and organic meat and fish products the whole body feels and is healthier.

What Women Should Eat

Women are more prone than men to follow fad diets, to have been yo-yo dieters or may have cut out certain food groups. 

In my opinion, we need to support the yin aspect of the woman, the fluid and the bloods, as we want the endometrium to be healthy, the cervical mucus to be plentiful and the eggs to be in the best condition possible to be released and carried through the fallopian tubes to your uterus. 

Some foods support the yin aspect of a woman’s diet such as fresh fruits – pears, pineapples, pomegranates, lemons, apples, bananas and avocado and vegetables such as asparagus green beans spinach and seaweed.

You may also want to include some duck, crab, oysters, rabbit, spelt and dandelion, fennel or nettle tea. 

Clean Out Your Body

If you have phlegm and mucus in the body which is sticky or have had candida or thrush you could, before trying to get pregnant, clean out the body with; beans, asparagus, barley, buckwheat, celery, garlic, green tea, jasmine tea seaweed and plentiful fresh herbs such as basil cardamon, caraway, cloves, fenugreek, parsley and watercress.

Eat Seasonally

Try to eat food which is seasonal and local to where you are as possible, like your grandmother did.

Having more warming foods in the autumn and winter and raw and salads more consumed in the summer when the weather is sunny.

Eat Mindfully

How you eat it is also important, try to sit down at the table and just eat without distraction as you will chew your food much better. You can put your knife and fork down between mouthfuls, and my advice is not to have your mobile phone at the table.

If you are alone and you eat in silence you will notice perhaps how you are looking for your phone or you’re used to reading articles while you’re eating. My advice is don’t do this, just sit quietly and rest and chew your food well.

Try to dress your table, put a tablecloth on, have some flowers or something beautiful to look at, nice plates to eat off and beautiful bowls that means something to you.

Don’t drink lots with food

Don’t drink copious amounts of fluids while you’re eating because digestions starts in the mouth so you want your digestive enzymes to not be too diluted, don’t eat very cold foods, don’t have ice in your drinks. Try not to eat if you are worried, have had an argument or feel angry.

Eat Regularly

Try to eat regularly but only when you are really hungry and if you feel you have a weak digestion have small meals which are easy to digest, try to observe if you have any bloating, cramping or excessive gas after you’ve eaten for example.

Some people although it’s used widely in all worlds cuisines decide not to have onions and garlic because they don’t digest them well and all of the small changes become a matter of habit.

Over to You

What do you think of these tips?

Which of these tips will you action today? 

Don’t forget a thing and pin this for later! 


Fertility for Millennials

Navigating the Fertility Journey in Late 30s to Early 40s: Challenges and Considerations for Millennial Women In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift

You may also want to investigate a Three-Months Programme, a One-Month Programme or a Two-Hours Intensive.

Opening The Discussion Around Fertility on The Harley Street Edit Podcast

Opening the Conversation Around Fertility

I had the wonderful opportunity to join Shradha Nund on The Harley Street Edit Podcast to discuss fertility and how I support people in their fertility journey.

In the podcast episode we discussed:

  • My background and how I got into Fertility Coaching
  • What is a fertility coach?
  • Fertility journeys and when to see a fertility coach
  • Opening the conversation around fertility in a relationship
  • Feeling on the outside
  • A male’s emotional journey
  • The financial implications

It was such a pleasure to open the discussion about fertility and to be on this podcast.

The podcast is available here.

Is conceiving much harder than you ever anticipated?

My integrated approach looks at your current physical and emotional state, while providing you with complete confidentiality and support during one of the most difficult challenges of your life.

Learn More About Working Together


“I was told by many doctors and specialist I would not be able to have a baby which broke my heart, due to sub fertility issues, after closely following Linda’s recommendations I gave birth to a healthy daughter who has filled our lives with joy.”
“Linda you really are a magical part of my life and I am so grateful for YOU.”

You may also want to investigate a Three-Months Programme, a One-Month Programme or a Two-Hours Intensive.

Turning 40

Turning 40 Feeling emotional, pressured and confused?
Kicking your self that too much time has gone by?

Esther and Donor Insemination

Past relationships can block our future like a concrete boulder. When relationships don’t work out the way we had hoped men and women can spend years protecting themselves sometimes subconsciously. Not entering into a new relationship in an attempt to resist future hurt.

Esther fell in love at 19 and after a few years hoped to get married and start a family as this had always been her heart’s desire. A lot of time and life experiences passed and by the time she was 27 her family and friends said if he could not commit after 8 years, to share a home together, get engaged or married, he probably would not ever be ready.

“If he could not commit after 8 years, to share a home together, get engaged or married, he probably would not ever be ready.”

Marriage is not necessary for everyone but for Esther it meant a public declaration witnessed in front of friends and family it was important to her.

She kept hoping …….. for another 2 years and when they had spent 10 years together since meeting at university with no ‘development’ in her opinion she felt the time had come to listen to her heart and give him an ultimatum either he wanted the same as her or she would walk away.

It was not a threat to make him take action, she knew in her heart they would separate, but a small voice of self worth hoped he would surprise her and propose.

He did not, they went their separate ways when she was 29.

She spent her 30th birthday very very depressed and spent a tremendous amount of energy putting a smile on her face for the sake of others.

Her self esteem was on the floor she was utterly depressed and very sad.

This grief and sorrow scarred her for 12 years she could not face opening her heart again, she was bereft.

She found herself at 41 years old fully aware of the decline of her fertility and ironically having worked as a specialist nurse in a high dependency baby care unit which made the heartbreak even harder to bear.

Can you imagine feeling like this and spending all your working time with babies?

Esther was a wonderful and loving godmother and aunt to many children which was really hard, she often used to go home after a Sunday lunch or family gathering and sob for hours.

She made a huge decision and began working with me on the recommendation of a friend. Esther decided to start her journey as a solo parent with donor insemination.

We identified she

  • Needed to off load a lot of old stuck emotions
  • Grieve what she felt she had missed out on
  • Felt a sense of panic about her age
  • Wanted to find a way to tell her close family
  • Must choose a donor as soon as possible that could give her a Jewish donor
  • Had to deal with taking time off work without telling people why

We decide to work together for 3 months initially as she felt she had a lot to do and needed constant support to

  • Choose a clinic that she had faith in
  • Prepare her body for the insemination
  • Balance her work and the time she needed to improve her health
  • Regain her confidence
  • Have a constant confidential companion on this journey

Esther decided the first thing she wanted to do was to tell her family, her mother, father and two brothers whilst her parents thought is was rather unconventional they understood that she needed to take this action for herself.

(Her mother had always said rather unkindly she had ‘wasted 20 years of her life with her boyfriend 10 waiting and 10 sulking’) Her father thought it all ‘very unnatural’ So those conversations were short.

He brothers surprised her and were incredibly supportive and loving.

She decided to use a US based based sperm bank and was fairly stressed about everything to begin with

  • Talking openly to her fertility clinic
  • Sitting in a waiting room full of couples and pregnant women was unbearable
  • Having tests and procedures was very embarrassing for her
  • Not telling friends what she was doing felt secretive in a negative way and she felt very alone and isolated
  • Lying to superiors at work about why she needed time off
  • Juggling all her hospital appointments
  • Thinking about if she should keep dating?

The first time she used her donor sperm she had IVF and she hated it. Hated the way the drugs made her feel, hated the injections, felt disappointed with her egg retrieval and felt stressed trying to achieve all this whilst taking her annual holiday. The pregnancy test was negative and she was crushingly disappointed.

The second cycle she felt “persuaded” by the doctors to do IVF again due to her age now (42) to achieve the best outcome. It was a repeat of the first cycle except worse because they increased all the stimulation in an attempt to get more eggs.
A negative result, all annual holiday spent and a big hole in her savings account.

So what purpose did our work together serve? Esther was understandably very depressed and angry that she did not get pregnant but she also was blocked. She felt less than, not good enough, bad, wrong, rejected and judged, miserable and full of suppressed rage. Life felt unfair to her and she had been a compliant people pleaser for years and making a change was something that felt like an uphill struggle.

We talked about everything that she had kept buried for years. How she felt very pressured by her mother to be a ‘good girl’ and had unrealistic expectations from her father to be his ‘perfect little princess’.

Esther felt that had affected why she stayed in her first relationship for so long not able to voice what her needs were, instead always wanting desperately to be enough and loved.

She had studied long and hard to be a nurse then specialised and worked in an emotionally difficult field with babies in a high dependency unit.

She never expressed herself, always soldered on while inside she was withering and deeply depressed.

We talked and talked, she was brave and courageous and dug deep into her past experiences in order to let go.

A couple of paragraphs cannot adequately describe the work we did together I could write pages.

We discussed how she felt about moving forward to try to have a baby again. She decided to take a few months to heal physically and mentally against the advice of the fertility clinic as she was getting older and her chances were diminishing.

Is conceiving much harder than you ever anticipated?

My integrated approach looks at your current physical and emotional state, while providing you with complete confidentiality and support during one of the most difficult challenges of your life.

Learn More About Working Together

Read More…

I invite you to share my knowledge

The one thing that made me become a specialist fertility coach is I want to share my knowledge.

By making myself available online I can reach a wider audience and I know from the work I have already done the benefit others have got through my work.

“To find someone you like and trust is not easy.”

My clients come from all walks of life, all professions and are at different stages in their fertility journey. I have helped women

  • regulate their menstrual cycle
  • who are just starting to wonder about how fertile they are
  • decide where to go for fertility testing and a gynecological check up
  • find the right words to discuss sperm testing with their partner
  • identify their fertile window and when to have sex
  • cope with the frustration when they do not conceive easily

The two week wait

I have had years of experience and I know regardless of if it is natural conception or assisted fertility during the two week wait one of the hardest things for a woman is to find the balance between being positive, hopeful, allowing themselves to think of their baby and to cope with the stress and fear that it will be a negative result again.

This is a time when you need support, reassurance and somewhere to release you feelings.

Hope and disappointment are polar opposites and when this happens month after month it beings to have a profound effect on the emotions I have heard women say

  • it seems so easy for everyone else
  • everywhere I look there are babies
  • It is not fair
  • I am happy for my friend/sister/ neighbour but sad for myself
  • my partner is not supportive
  • I cannot face going to that party, wedding, baby shower
  • No one understands how I feel
  • I had to sit in a work meeting discussing maternity leave
  • this feels insane

I invite you to share my knowledge, wisdom and experience your investment will be worth it.

Is conceiving much harder than you ever anticipated?

My integrated approach looks at your current physical and emotional state, while providing you with complete confidentiality and support during one of the most difficult challenges of your life.

Learn More About Working Together

Read More…

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